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<title>Build a Bad Fanfic! (the Long-Awaited Result) by iamyourgodwaitno</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22596673">Build a Bad Fanfic! (the Long-Awaited Result)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamyourgodwaitno/pseuds/iamyourgodwaitno'>iamyourgodwaitno</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>instagram - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Other, Self-Insert, instagram challenge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:28:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,288</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22596673</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamyourgodwaitno/pseuds/iamyourgodwaitno</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>one of those things that r like "your comments dictate your fanfic"</p><p>First comment: hair/eyes - blonde with red koolaid tips and dirty blue eyes</p><p>Second comment: love interest - harrison ford</p><p>Third comment: Silly, loyal bff - patrick stump</p><p>Fourth comment: The villain - Mr. clean</p><p>Fifth comment: Secret abt yn - they’re a thot</p><p>Sixth comment: Secret abt love interest - he has 27 fingers</p><p>Seventh comment: Yns ex - danny devito</p><p>Eighth comment: Additional characters - dan howell’s glabella, who loves yn’s ex</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>harrison ford/oc, harrison ford/self insert</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Meeting!!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>n e ways here we go</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I awoke on the asphalt outside of my house. The sun was on, smack dab in the middle of the sky-blue sky. “Five more minutes, mom!” I yelled to God. He turned the sun off. I fell asleep again, rubbing my pink, sunburnt face against the hot ground, not wanting to go to school. It was only when the third set of wheels on an eighteen-wheeler rolled over me that I woke up again. </p><p>“You’re going to be late for school, y/n!” My mom yelled at me from inside my house. I groaned and pencil-rolled my way inside, since my legs were broken and I didn’t have any upper body strength. I went to take my morning shit in the bathtub before accidentally turning the showerhead on while it was an inch and a half up my ass. Fuck. In a hurry, I pulled a switchblade out of my pocket and cut the showerhead off, shoved the rest inside me, and got dressed. I stared into the mirror. I tied my blonde hair up into a messy ponytail, before realising that something was missing. Fuck, I forgot the Kool-Aid! I quickly soaked my tips into a cardboard box filled to the brim with bright red Kool-Aid, giving it an authentic Kool-Aid-red look. There, that’s better. I then rubbed dirt and blue soap dye over my white eyes to make them dirty blue; just the way I like them. There, I was ready for school. </p><p>I made mom give me a ride because, at that point, I’d already missed the bus by a good two hours. She dropped me off outside my third period classroom. “Thanks, mom, I love you!” She scoffed and drove off. I grabbed a sledgehammer out of my locker and broke the windows of the classroom so I could get in. My ass ached as I climbed through, the showerhead shifting uncomfortably as I dropped onto my desk. </p><p>“Y/n! You’re late again!” My teacher, a young woman in his sixties, glared at me. “I’ll have to have a word with your mother if this behaviour continues!” I flung the sledgehammer at him and watched his skull cave in. Satisfied, I jumped into my seat.</p><p>“Ow!” There was someone sitting on my chair, at my desk, under my ass. I didn’t recognise him. Maybe he was a new student? “I’m a new student, asshole,” he hissed at me, dull eyes boring into mine.</p><p>“Get the fuck outta my seat, you lil bitch,” I hissed right back at him, holding a moderately-sized meat cleaver to his throat. “Don’t you know who I am? I’m y/n, and I own this place. So get the fuck out of my fucking seat, or I’ll cut your fucking heart out with this fucking knife, fucker.” I twisted my arm slightly, angling the flat blade in my hand so that the sun would reflect off of it and into the pussy’s eyes. </p><p>He growled and took a bite out of the knife. When I didn’t do anything to stop him, he continued, making quick work of the once-proud cleaver. As he took the last bite, I jammed the hilt into his eye socket. He was silent for a moment, before he grabbed the back of my head and pulled me towards him, effectively jamming the other side of the hilt into my eye. It was then that I realised something strange about the boy. With his hands still plastered to the back of my skull, I could feel every single one of his fingerprints pressing into my blonde and red hair. “Do you have twenty-seven fucking fingers?” I shouted, disgusted. His remaining eye widened and he pushed me away. </p><p>“Stop bullying me!” The boy yelled, panicked, as the bell rang. </p><p>I snorted. “Fuck you. Who are you, anyway? I need to know your name so I can finish this chapter, no matter how ooc I sound.”</p><p>He looked up. “My name is Harrison Ford, and I’m your new love interest.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Conflict!!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In this chapter, we get a look at y/n's past love interest, Daniel.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello happy belated valentine's day</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After class ended, I decided to leave school, because thirty minutes of education a day was more than enough. I strapped a couple fireworks onto the soles of my Uggs and got ready to light them. I reached into my back left pocket and tried to find my lighter. It wasn’t there. I cussed loudly.</p><p>“Language!” The word echoed down the hall. My head snapped up. Who the fuck said that? Marching towards the nearest classroom and throwing the door open, I found the culprit. Mr. DeVito, a 75-year-old (as of February 2020) teacher standing at a grand 4’10” (also as of February 2020). Oh, one more thing: he was my ex.</p><p>“Hello, <i>Daniel</i>,” I hissed. I walked up to him, crouched, and stared him in the eye. “What the fuck did you say to me? Huh? You pussy-fucking-bitch?”</p><p>“Language!” He wailed again, throwing his large, flat hands over his similarly proportioned ears, hanging off the side of his face like two large slabs of cheap venison. I felt my anger boil up once again. Seething, I removed my Uggs and stuck them inside Danny; One in his mouth, directed down his throat, and the other in the opposite end of him. I stuck my hand in my back right pocket, hoping to find my lighter there. No such luck. I swore again. Danny’s eyes widened. I shat on him.</p><p>“Hey!” I whipped my head around to see someone in the doorway. Or, rather, some<i>thing</i>. Someone had cut out someone’s fucking glabella, and it was standing in the doorway of Mr. DeVito’s classroom. I scoffed and turned around, continuing to grope myself through my pockets in hope of finding a fire source. The glabella had different plans, though. “Hey, Y/n! Are you looking for this?” It called again. When I turned to look at it again, it was holding my Limited Edition Fabergé Imperial Table Lighter in its hands. </p><p>My dirty blue eyes narrowed into slits, shifting into a position resembling Voldermort’s nose in the movies. “Give it back.”</p><p>I must have scared it, because, at that moment, it lost all its confidence. The glabella trembled, stepping back. “I’ll give this back to you if you step away from Danny,” It said, eyes worriedly darting from the man bent over the desk below me to me.</p><p>“Fine.” Fully intending to not keep the promise, I walked over and bent down, snatching my lighter in the process. I picked up the glabella in my other hand and walked back to Mr. DeVito. “Stop moving, you little shit,” I told it when it started to wriggle. Danny was beginning to look more and more affronted. I opened the lighter and flicked it on, moving it to the firework protruding out of his ass.</p><p>“NOOOOOOOO!” The glabella cried before I could light the firework. I dipped it in the gasoline-filled inkwell Mr. Devito kept on his desk and lit it on fire. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE DON’T HURT MY DANNY!” It continued to scream. I changed my mind and ate it.</p><p>I turned my attention back to Danny. By that time, the sun was already beginning to go down. It seemed god was on my side. I threw the windows open, literally, and got ready to light him up. The moment the sun lost its light, I sent Danny flying, watching him dissipate in a shower of sparks, the neon orange of his blood blending, gradually and gracefully, with the gold of the fireworks against the dark yellowy-black of the night sky, before becoming one with the light pollution. My eyes watered. It was one beautiful motherfucking sight and definitely more than he deserved. </p><p>Goodbye, Mr. DeVito. You weren’t a good man.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if u wanna find me on instagram im @omg_fobnsfw (4 content similar to this (so like weird fucking content but also hopefully funny)), @fromunderyourcorktree (4 blander content) and @iamyourgodwaitno (personal)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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